Friday, October 17, 2008

Our Birth Mom's Story

This story is very dear to me, because it was written by the birth mom of our daughter, Elia. I am honored that she would write it for me, and blessed to be able to share it with you. -Tracie

"Hello. My name is Heather and my husband and I chose adoption for our daughter. Many ask why I would choose that over abortion or keeping her to raise myself. Well, to be honest, I would have loved to raise her, but the situation I was in was not the type that was best for my child. There weren't any drugs or alcohol. We just weren't ready to raise a child. I have always felt that a child should be offered all there is in life. And at the time we weren't able to provide that for her.

My father was adopted, and in turn adopted me when he met my mother. So when I found out that I was pregnant, he mentioned adoption. And to me, abortion was not an option, because my child was conceived voluntarily. Not that she was planned, but was in no way not wanted. At first it was a definite no. In my younger days I felt that if a woman was mature enough get pregnant, then she was mature enough to take responsibility for that child and do her best to raise him or her. However, when it's you that is in the situation, things change. I wanted to make things work, but later did some thinking and much praying. I asked God to give me the the strength and knowledge to do what was best for my child. Even though she wasn't here yet, I had such love for my baby. After a few weeks of praying and lots of tears, I knew what was best, to give this child a family that would not only love her unconditionally, but could also give her everything we couldn't. I feel that a child needs more than just love to grow and be successful in life.

When it came time to pick a family for my daughter, I was a bit unsure. How was I going to know that they would be perfect for her? What if I picked the wrong family? My mom went with me to the adoption agency, and when they handed me the profile for the Loux family, it only took a minute to decide. I opened the pages, and I had never been more sure of something in my whole life. It was like God said, "This is the family I have chosen for your child." All my fears of making the wrong decision were gone. And the first time I talked to them on the phone, was like I was talking to a sister. We only had a few short weeks before my baby arrived, and as any parent I was nervous. The minute I saw Tracie and John, there was no doubt that God had given me this child so that I could bless their family. I now believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

At first I didn't want an open adoption. I thought that I could get back to a normal life if there was no constant memory of the difficult decision I had made. But as soon as I saw Tracie and John with Elia, I just felt that there was more of a connection there. Tracie, being open to a relationship with us, actually made the transition easier because now I could see Elia’s progress. I could see the love in the other children's faces, and the unconditional adoration that the whole family had for my baby girl. I love having a relationship with Tracie and John. I'm not sure that I could have gone through with the whole thing without God's continued peace, my families' support and love, and my wonderful connection with the Loux Family.

My husband and I are now expecting our own child, a baby boy. Because of the experience with the adoption, we have been able to reconnect in our marriage, and stabilize our lives. The continued relationship I have with Tracie and John has given me hope that one day, many years from now, Elia will always know that her birth mom and dad love her very much. We didn't "give" her away. We simply found a wonderful, loving and compassionate family to take care of her, love her and give her every option she desires in life."

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Adoption Open House

I am having a small gathering of couples at my home on Monday, October 20th from 7:00-8:30PM. If there are any local couples that would like to join us to get more information on domestic adoption, please email me at

Because this gathering is in my home, I have limited seating, so please email me immediately if you are interested in attending.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

One Birth Mom's Story

"It was 26 years ago that I was faced with the most heart wrenching decision of my life. I had barely turned 16 and found myself pregnant. I was so blessed to have a supportive and loving family who sought godly counsel. Through that counsel we were directed to a wonderful Christian adoption agency. I am so very thankful to my pregnancy counselor, and to the loving staff who loved and prayed for me during this difficult time.

Through their guidance, I came to the conclusion that the best scenario for my baby was adoption. I had such a peace about my decision – the kind of peace that can only come from the Lord. Back then adoptions were usually closed. So I know very little about my child and nothing about her whereabouts to this day. However, I am confident that the Lord has kept His hand on her just as He has me all these years. His peace has sustained me all these years. And it is that perfect peace that calms my heart as I realize I may never meet her face to face. I can say, with all confidence, that I have not one regret about my decision. However, there is not a day that passes that I do not think about my daughter. Wondering what she looks like, where she is and what her life is like.

I pray she loves Jesus.

It is the forever families who are willing to invest in the lives of unknown children out of obedience to their Lord. They are then able to have an impact on eternity. Whenever I meet a family who has adopted, I make it a point to thank them for saying “yes” to God. For without them, adoption would not be possible.

I am forever grateful to the family who said yes to the Lord’s call to adopt my daughter. My hope and prayer is that many children would receive the gift of a forever family to love them and one day assist in leading them into a decision to follow Christ. After all, we have the best example of adoption and the story is written in His gospel. My God, by His infinite grace and mercy and by His love, grafted me into his family. I’m so glad He chose me."

…to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,

Ephesians 3:19,20


Thursday, October 2, 2008

Louisville Adoption Seminar

We are holding a FREE, informational adoption seminar in Louisville, KY on October 18th from 10:30 - noon. The seminar will be held at Northeast Christian Church. Topics will include:

* How to Adopt Quickly and Affordably
* Homestudy Process and Prices
* How to Choose the Right Agency
* Simplifying the Process and Paperwork
* Common Adoption Myths
* Typical Agency Fees and Cost Breakdowns
* How to Creatively Fund Your Adoption
* Frequently Asked Questions

If you or someone you know is considering adoption, I highly encourage you to attend or pass the word on to couples you know who may be interested. Space is limited, so please call 502-442-7806 to register.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Post-Adoption Symptoms

I was just with an adoptive mom this morning helping her with her newborn girls. We were discussing the similarities between the emotional and physical toll of delivering a baby and having that new baby at home, and of adopting a baby and having that new baby at home. Our conclusion- it's not much different!

When I was carrying around our newly adopted daughter, I heard comments like this, "Must be nice to have a baby and not have to do all the hard work." Now, I'm not knocking the fact that carrying a baby for 9 months, along with labor and delivery is exhausting. I've done it three times! I am simply writing for all of you new adoptive moms or soon-to-be adoptive moms to let you know you're not crazy if you feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and emotional after bringing your baby home.

Adoption is labor. It is a labor of the heart. You wait, you carry a child in your heart, deep in your emotions, sometimes for months! It is an emotional roller coaster many times, and it is tough on the heart. It is physically challenging as well, the paperwork, hours of writing, and running here and there to gather all that is needed for your home study, applications and so forth takes its toll. We sometimes tell couples, "Your paperwork pregnant now!" The adoption process is a a labor of love- it is a deep, incredible experience that I wouldn't trade for anything!

There is many times an initial emotional reaction to a child you are about to adopt (speaking mostly to mom's at the moment) that I honestly believe causes a hormonal shift in your body. I can't document this scientifically, and I could do some research I guess, but that's not the point of what I am writing. I know from the experiences of both natural birth and adoptive birth that the impact was much the same on my emotions!

Finally, there is the practical issue of sleep-deprivation. This impacts an adoptive couple no differently that any other couple with a new born at home! Adoptive mom's often get remarks like this, "Wow, you look great, you're still in the same jeans!" I always thought, "Yeah, my jean size is still the same, but I'm not getting any solid sleep, my emotions have been on a roller coaster, and I'm worn out. The size of my jeans has nothing to do with how I am doing!"

So to all you soon-to-be adoptive families or new adoptive families out there, much grace and strength to you today! May your journey be blessed and full of joy. Know that it is a labor of love, one that will be richly rewarded.

I welcome comments from adoptive moms and dads that might help or encourage another adoptive couple!

Happy Family!

I already congratulated Scott and Caroline on the birth of their son, but these new pictures were too cute not to post!