Our Birth Mom's Story

This story is very dear to me, because it was written by the birth mom of our daughter, Elia. I am honored that she would write it for me, and blessed to be able to share it with you. -Tracie

"Hello. My name is Heather and my husband and I chose adoption for our daughter. Many ask why I would choose that over abortion or keeping her to raise myself. Well, to be honest, I would have loved to raise her, but the situation I was in was not the type that was best for my child. There weren't any drugs or alcohol. We just weren't ready to raise a child. I have always felt that a child should be offered all there is in life. And at the time we weren't able to provide that for her.

My father was adopted, and in turn adopted me when he met my mother. So when I found out that I was pregnant, he mentioned adoption. And to me, abortion was not an option, because my child was conceived voluntarily. Not that she was planned, but was in no way not wanted. At first it was a definite no. In my younger days I felt that if a woman was mature enough get pregnant, then she was mature enough to take responsibility for that child and do her best to raise him or her. However, when it's you that is in the situation, things change. I wanted to make things work, but later did some thinking and much praying. I asked God to give me the the strength and knowledge to do what was best for my child. Even though she wasn't here yet, I had such love for my baby. After a few weeks of praying and lots of tears, I knew what was best, to give this child a family that would not only love her unconditionally, but could also give her everything we couldn't. I feel that a child needs more than just love to grow and be successful in life.

When it came time to pick a family for my daughter, I was a bit unsure. How was I going to know that they would be perfect for her? What if I picked the wrong family? My mom went with me to the adoption agency, and when they handed me the profile for the Loux family, it only took a minute to decide. I opened the pages, and I had never been more sure of something in my whole life. It was like God said, "This is the family I have chosen for your child." All my fears of making the wrong decision were gone. And the first time I talked to them on the phone, was like I was talking to a sister. We only had a few short weeks before my baby arrived, and as any parent I was nervous. The minute I saw Tracie and John, there was no doubt that God had given me this child so that I could bless their family. I now believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

At first I didn't want an open adoption. I thought that I could get back to a normal life if there was no constant memory of the difficult decision I had made. But as soon as I saw Tracie and John with Elia, I just felt that there was more of a connection there. Tracie, being open to a relationship with us, actually made the transition easier because now I could see Elia’s progress. I could see the love in the other children's faces, and the unconditional adoration that the whole family had for my baby girl. I love having a relationship with Tracie and John. I'm not sure that I could have gone through with the whole thing without God's continued peace, my families' support and love, and my wonderful connection with the Loux Family.

My husband and I are now expecting our own child, a baby boy. Because of the experience with the adoption, we have been able to reconnect in our marriage, and stabilize our lives. The continued relationship I have with Tracie and John has given me hope that one day, many years from now, Elia will always know that her birth mom and dad love her very much. We didn't "give" her away. We simply found a wonderful, loving and compassionate family to take care of her, love her and give her every option she desires in life."

One Birth Mom's Story

"It was 26 years ago that I was faced with the most heart wrenching decision of my life. I had barely turned 16 and found myself pregnant. I was so blessed to have a supportive and loving family who sought godly counsel. Through that counsel we were directed to a wonderful Christian adoption agency. I am so very thankful to my pregnancy counselor, and to the loving staff who loved and prayed for me during this difficult time.

Through their guidance, I came to the conclusion that the best scenario for my baby was adoption. I had such a peace about my decision – the kind of peace that can only come from the Lord. Back then adoptions were usually closed. So I know very little about my child and nothing about her whereabouts to this day. However, I am confident that the Lord has kept His hand on her just as He has me all these years. His peace has sustained me all these years. And it is that perfect peace that calms my heart as I realize I may never meet her face to face. I can say, with all confidence, that I have not one regret about my decision. However, there is not a day that passes that I do not think about my daughter. Wondering what she looks like, where she is and what her life is like.

I pray she loves Jesus.

It is the forever families who are willing to invest in the lives of unknown children out of obedience to their Lord. They are then able to have an impact on eternity. Whenever I meet a family who has adopted, I make it a point to thank them for saying “yes” to God. For without them, adoption would not be possible.

I am forever grateful to the family who said yes to the Lord’s call to adopt my daughter. My hope and prayer is that many children would receive the gift of a forever family to love them and one day assist in leading them into a decision to follow Christ. After all, we have the best example of adoption and the story is written in His gospel. My God, by His infinite grace and mercy and by His love, grafted me into his family. I’m so glad He chose me."

…to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,

Ephesians 3:19,20

-Lisa

Birth Mothers: Story 1

There are many misconceptions about birth mothers out there, and I wanted to share a few of my own experiences with birth mom's who are facing the decision to choose adoption for their children from time to time.

Here is one that I was just made aware of yesterday:

One of my couples was matched with a birth mom this weekend. Without sharing too much information, her circumstances did not allow her to raise this child. She considered an abortion, but could not go through with it.

She wanted to know if this family had a problem with fact that the baby would be African American, to which they shared their hearts with her on this issue and told her that they would love the child as their own regardless of the color of his/her skin. She wanted to know what they would tell the child about her. They reassured her that they would speak about her in a positive way and share with the child that she made a loving decision on their behalf in choosing to give LIFE.

She said that when she saw their profile, she knew that they were the ones. She said that she chose them because they looked like they had fun together, had the values she was looking for, and were a Christian family. She asked if they would give the child a Biblical name. They were able to share with her that all of their children had Biblical names and this child would be given one as well.

This birth mom is not due for several weeks, but I look forward to the day I can share pictures of this precious life and the wonderful family that said YES.

I hope this story does a few things for you:
1. I hope it breaks the myth that birth mom's don't care. They typically care and care very deeply about the choice they are making.
2. I hope this reminds us all to pray for LIFE. This woman was facing an abortion and "couldn't go through with it". I believe that this is one of many lives that was saved as the result of prayer! Maybe it was YOU that was praying that day she faced that decision and chose life.
3. I hope this story inspires you to put your YES on the line and consider adopting one of the many African American children who need godly, Christian homes.

For more information about adoption feel free to email me at tracie@christianadoptionconsultants.com